Bihari Headmaster’s Funny Speech

A School master from Bihar was transferred to a new Kendriya School in Mumbai.
He reported for duty two days before August 15 and, as was the practice in the school, was asked to address the School assembly on Independence Day.

Here’s his dynamite speech :



Leddies and Gentulmens, Contemporaries, Children, “This is my  first maiden speech. If small small mistakes get inside my speech, I  ask pardon. Stickly speaking, I wanted to joint your school more  fastly,but for the following reason. Too much time lost in getting slipper reservation in three-tyre compartment. The clerk rejected to  give ticket. I put complaint on station master. He said me to go to  lady clerk. At first she also rejected. I then pressed her for long  time and at last with great  difficulty she gave a birth only to my son. Anyway I thanked the station master because he was responsible for getting birth of my son.

We got independent because of great leaders  like Gandhiji who get-outted all angrezi peoples from India.  Tilak said Swaraj is our birth-rate and we shall halve it.  Today we all have our birth-rate.You children are future dynamic generators of  the Nation. 

Look into future time only. No backside looking, or looking at your behind.Be like great like X’ raj Ranjan of Germany or Presidents like Loosebelt, Dim Butter,Lipton etc. You know genius,  no? It is one percent perspiration and ninety seven percent evaporation.

They  became great by reading great books.After we finish you off here in the school, you can go to college and get  B.A., M.A., M.A.M.A and other decrease. Then you can become great liars in the supreme courts, shattered accountants, or teacherers in college.

The school is like a garden. You are the seeds, classroom is the soil. We will bury you in this soil, pour water of knowledge on your heads one day you all will become great phools. Many vacancy  job come in newzpeppers. Only yesterday I saw in paper “Wanted for refuted engineering firm:  Generators, highpower condensors” so and so forth, etc.  These jobs may be teknickel, but you can shine. If you  have flare in English, you can become teacher. I am now ending this  fastly. My God blast you Thank you and thank God I am phinish.
                                    Joy  Hind

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